He started to throw more laundry into the basket and drove less aggressively. But his favourite meal cooked and served at the dining room table will always get him away from the TV and off the sofa. I wrote in my diary: In fact, the more positive I was with my husband, the faster his husbandly defensiveness faded away. Scott, for example, is nocturnal - so early morning flights or early morning anything are a trial - so I avoid them. Some years ago we took possession of Dixie, an eight-week-old excitable puppy that I took to obedience class. Now, some trainers aren't keen on luring, as they think it gives the animal a chance to decide in advance whether the treat is big enough or not. Trainers have used it for centuries. Perhaps the most important lesson I learnt from the animal trainers I met is that, rather than punish or draw attention to behaviour you don't like, you should simply ignore it.
In fact, the more positive I was with my husband, the faster his husbandly defensiveness faded away. Now, some trainers aren't keen on luring, as they think it gives the animal a chance to decide in advance whether the treat is big enough or not. But he's also forgetful, untidy and a terrible time keeper. Perhaps the most important lesson I learnt from the animal trainers I met is that, rather than punish or draw attention to behaviour you don't like, you should simply ignore it. Amy lured Scott to Ikea with the promise of a plateful of Swedish meatballs at the end I once lured Scott to Ikea on a Saturday with the promise of a plateful of their Swedish meatballs in the restaurant afterwards. The gamble is that the animal may hold out on you. About the screwed up tissues, the towels on the floor, taking too long in the bathroom. We humans assume that pointing out what we don't want makes clear what we do desire. Scott basked in my growing appreciation. But then good trainers don't want automaton animals. I was tempted to throw him a bone. It only worked once - he decided the scrum of shoppers wasn't worth the tasty treat. If a behaviour provokes no response at all, it typically dies away. A reward is promised for performing a task. I felt Scott's behaviour had forced me to whinge and complain. A scared or raging animal does not make a good student. Just as ignoring your partner's irritating habits will help to wean him off them, rewarding the things he does right - just as an animal trainer would - will also reinforce good behaviour. My species is territorial when it comes to the remote control and bass settings on the stereo, he cannot hear high-pitched noises, enjoys a carnivorous diet and is prone to long periods of hibernation. Whether it's cleaning the car, putting the bins out or mowing the lawn, make a real point of thanking your partner as soon as he does something you like. When my husband - a too-fast driver in my opinion - eased off the accelerator, I thanked him. He suffers from serious bouts of spousal deafness, but never fails to hear me when I curse him under my breath from afar. A common way to teach a dog to sit is to hold a tasty morsel right over its head which prompts him to put his bottom on the floor. He needs exercising daily - great for mowing lawns, running errands and trips to the corner shop. Amy's husband likes to control the TV remote - but she has learned to understand and accept that In the end it's always better to play to a species' strong suit. His spousal deafness miraculously seemed to improve, too. But, animal trainers don't nag and, most of the time, they don't even correct bad behaviour - they have an approach called 'gentling' or 'affection training' which means rewarding the behaviour they like and disregarding what they don't like.
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