Sweetheart lesbians

21.04.2018 4 Comments

All I can say is that I believe not every gay person is gay for life. I had been so committed, I even bought a flat with one of my partners. I didn't tell him the truth at first but when I finally admitted that I had fallen for another woman, he was relieved. This may sound totally coldhearted, but I made a calculated decision to try men again. After all, given the choice I would choose a woman over a man for a really great chat, an inspiring conversation or to share emotional problems with. The women I went out with were by and large more inclined to be insecure and to need reassurance and I found myself in the male role of endlessly reassuring my girlfriends.

Sweetheart lesbians


My first sexual experience was with a lesbian woman called Gwen. For 12 years, between the ages of 22 and 34, I was in several long-term lesbian relationships. I fell in love at 17 with Tim, a hugely attractive pupil at the local grammar school. The ironic part is that I have never, ever, been unfaithful in a relationship. Leonard Matlovitch who helped shape the social and political climate below the Mason Dixon line and often in the rest of the country. This may sound absurd, but calling myself a lesbian was almost like calling myself a punk or a goth. And the criticism still continues. One girlfriend was so insecure that every single time we enjoyed a night out - usually at a bar - we would have a row and have to leave. It was a breath of fresh air. I could never in a million years have imagined, in the full throes of my lesbian life, that I would one day live such a conventional straight lifestyle. I repeat, I know many people are totally convinced that they are born gay and have absolutely no choice over their sexual orientation. They see it as a mark of indecision or even self-delusion. It felt natural and not at all scary. We carried on dating even when we went to separate universities - he to Cambridge and I to Kent. She would convince herself that I was flirting with another woman and, however much I tried not to catch anyone's eye, she wouldn't believe me. For I can honestly say that I never felt the need to 'come out' as gay or straight - I simply decided to fall in love with women. Tim was incredibly bright and extremely good looking. I had studied feminist literature at university and it opened my eyes to the possibility of sexuality as a life choice. I felt we were walking alongside each other rather than spending life locked in face-to-face intimacy or combat. It never occurred to me that there was anything else to be. Was I picking the wrong women or was I simply not cut out to be a lesbian? Why couldn't they feel as close to their husbands and boyfriends? I didn't tell him the truth at first but when I finally admitted that I had fallen for another woman, he was relieved. My close friends knew immediately - but I shied away from telling my family for several years. I am convinced that while men are usually entirely driven by sex when it comes to choosing a mate, women are often attracted more by the emotional side of the relationship and I was excited by the close bond a relationship with another female could bring.

Sweetheart lesbians


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4 thoughts on “Sweetheart lesbians”

  1. I was brought up in Essex by very traditional Irish Catholic parents and attended a Catholic comprehensive school.

  2. I had studied feminist literature at university and it opened my eyes to the possibility of sexuality as a life choice.

  3. Perhaps the best analogy is that I had come to see men in terms of 'black and white' whereas I saw women in colour. For me, finally shutting the door on lesbianism was rocky.

  4. But, once again, our relationship was destroyed because we got so exhausted with the emotional clashes and jealousy that never seemed to subside. In particular, I believe that many women are capable of feeling attracted to other women - to be with someone who believes it's perfectly normal to talk about how you feel and wants to know every single thought that passes through your head.

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